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Fathers and Responsibility

mycasewebsites2 • Mar 08, 2014

I sat across from a young soldier in my office in Kabul, Afghanistan.  He was suffering.  No outward injuries.  He came to my office to have a document notarized.  The mother of his two-year-old son sent him papers she wanted him to sign.  She wanted him to give up his parental rights.

We did not operate a legal assistance office, but we did notarize documents.  However, when we did have soldiers with family issues, I would normally at least interview them because of my experience.  The initial attorney was alert and had the presence of mind to bring the soldier to me without notarizing the document.

Once I reviewed the document, I questioned him about it.  Did he know what the result of signing this would mean? “Yes, Sir.”  Did he understand that he was forever giving up all of the rights and responsibilities of being the father of this child? “Yes, Sir.”  Did he want to do it? “No.  She’s making me…she wants to move on with her life.  I figure this is the easiest thing to do.”

Fathers!  Your children need you.  They need you to support them financially.  They need your presence.  They need to know that you fought to be with them.  They need you to demonstrate perseverance, strength, and resolve for them.  They need to see you get up and go to earn a living.  They need to see you lead.  There is nothing easy about it.

I did not know the young woman involved, but I had no doubt that this new beau was only one in a relatively long line in her future.  The young man in front of me was on the brink of condemning his son to this experience, having no male anchor in his life.  I spoke with him at length about what a colossal mistake this would be.

I told him that I would notarize the document, but not that day.  I asked him to think about it for 48 hours and then, if he wanted to proceed, he could return to the office and get what he wanted.  I never saw him again.  He’s home by now.  I have no idea about the end result, but I hope he’s with his boy as I type this post.

Fathers, it is your responsibility to fight for your children.  One day, they will know, they will understand, that you did your best.

 

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