I regularly advertise in the Lagniappe, Mobile’s weekly newspaper.  Every year, the Lagniappe allows Mobilians to vote on their local favorites.  You can visit their website here:   http://www.lagniappemobile.com/ .  One category is “Best Lawyer if Your Spouse is a Ho.”  Regularly, local divorce attorney legends Jerry Pilgrim, and his nemesis Claude Boone finish one and two among voters.

Adultery is serious business.  In my experience, neither husbands nor wives are more or less likely to offend, but it seems to me that men and women have different reasons for whether or not a single act of adultery is enough to call it quits.  For men, whether or not forgiveness is an option is linked to the perception of respect, whereas women connect to the idea of trust.  So…what if your estranged spouse  is   a ho?  What difference does it make legally?

Of course, the answer is: “It depends on your definition of ‘ho.’“ A while back, I wrote about equitable division of property in Alabama divorces.  Equitable division of property in this context means that the judge may consider the conduct of the parties during the marriage to make decisions on how to divide property and order, or not order, alimony.

In Alabama, infidelity is not a bar to alimony for the offending spouse (ho).  However, if the adultery was a factor in the break-up of the marriage, the judge may withhold an alimony order from an otherwise qualified ex-spouse.  In addition, adultery is normally not a consideration when deciding issues of custody, unless the offending spouse (ho), has somehow involved the children in, or otherwise made the children witness to, the adulterous behavior (ho-ing).

Here’s the bottom line:  Being a ho can put you at a disadvantage during the negotiation and or trial of your divorce, whereas refraining from ho-ing places you in a much better legal position when you decide to end a marriage.

Don’t get me wrong; I understand that the infidelity on one side may be directly related to action or inaction on the other side.  Just because you may be guilty of an infraction against the monogamy provisions of the marriage commitment doesn’t automatically mean that you are screwed (no pun intended) when it comes to a divorce settlement.  What it means is that you need a lawyer who can articulate to the other side, and maybe the judge, why your conduct may not be as egregious as the other side wants to portray it.

Whether you find yourself dealing with a ho, or accused of the ho-ing, I might be able to help.  One thing is certain: this won’t get better with time.  Call me at: (251)445-0891, or email me at: ron@mcbaylaw.com for an appointment to discuss your case.

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